♥ Monday, June 01, 2009.
heyyys , long time nvr post le .going to be 1 week ? damn sianed , SUPER HUNGRY NOW .i suddenly realise sth v. hilarious .nowadays when im hungry , my stomach will practically GROWL !serious , and im able to hear it loud and clear . wth .esp got one time in lib , coz lib damn quiet , den my stomach growled -.-wtf , i tot gt ppl hear . hahhas , LUCKILY DONT HAVE .even hongping nvr hear it , and she's sitting right beside me .just as i expected .F9-ed both maths . A2 geog and sci . C-ed all the other 3 random subjects .great . best thing is that , my o lvl mt oral is on my last day of sec 3 camp .so well , i'll have to hug my notes at nite while im in campsite , slping .heard that some sec 4s got a bit out of point in their newspaper article .and it's due to human error .yea right , my emaths graph also kena human error .nxt time do paper must be more alert . [ a lesson learnt :D ]but time really flies like damn shit manszx .the sec 4s are in mt olvls now . im having my so-called last june holiday .argh .im rotting , and it's JUST the 1ST day of june holidays .just finish watching korean version of boys over flowers .have to admit , it's nice . the actors and actresses all very nai kan .maybe at the 1st look , they are like okok . but as u carry on with the show , they're quite goodlooking .and i really finished everything . the episode , the afterstory . im glad that i had completed 2 impt tasks within the 2 days given .class tee and choir camp treasure hunt proposal .*com dced now , and yet i can still type * LAUGHS . ;Dright , back to topic .i handed in the class tee design on sat .sent the proposal to wendy on sunday , midnight .quite a number of problems while trying to hand in the design .damn shit . got ppl dont appreciate . oh well , expected anyways .but still , a bit angry .and im suppose to do the proposal with huiting .end up her internet crash . oh fuck .i chiong the proposal on sunday , 9++pm .luckily wendy say still can . x] im still hungry . oh damn .damn sian laa . rot like siao le .argh . i've been eating and sitting and watching show for the whole day .from 12nn to like now ?!damn , im going to grow fat .i smsed him tday . asked him how was it .right , he replied quite fast tday . rather than just ignore my msges for the past 1 week .he said a bit off . lols , and he sounded a bit demoralised .seriously hope not to see him retaking the damn shit .coz I AM going to take the retake paper .right , idk if i still like him or not .and i dont feel like bothering the stupid feelings .right now , we're just friends . thats it , end of story .friends asked me , are you gona wait till he's free .i said , idk . if feelings until then haven fade , den wait lorhs .they told me , just forget bout him .yea , it's on-ing and off-ing now .i gt this feeling that , i will nvr get a direct ans from him .and we dont even suit each other .my instinct tells me this right at the beginning when i was about to fall for him .and yea , it's proven .i shldnt let my emotions get in the way anymore .im just going to be that rational and high jinxiang that everybody knew .but i have to say .i like him ,i want him , i miss him .but i dont love him .how annoying can this be ? - damn fuck annoying .nowadays , im getting more and more disgusted by some matters .my mind is running wild and i cant seem to control it .
i know what im doing , i know what im thinking , i know what i want .
but just that , i couldnt control my strong feeling of disgust and irritation .
and also the feeling of disappointment , despair and darkness .
everything within me just seems to fall apart .
and im unable to hold the walls together .
great .
and no one knows how im feeling . no one will ever know .
and it feels so lousy and terrible that i feel like dying .
violent , blood , suicide .
yea , im on the verge of losing my mind , losing myself .
oh yar , i didnt know that there's still readers like wenshan :D
thanks for reading and tagging !
but still , i can anyhow shoot my mouth or my mind off here .
coz no one's reading it ;D
Jinxiang .
